In the midst of a series of dark days, there was one that poured out light. Lostness had been pulling at me for months but life is more forgiving than we give it credit for. It never takes without giving, even if it’s gifts aren’t what we have in mind. Well the gift I recieved this day wasn’t something I was searching for, or even aware I needed, but I did. I needed it.
Everything about the day was symbolic. The sky was dark like the past few months had been. Warnings of tornadoes were whispered about until the sirens sang their reality. But all got quiet for a sweet moment and my dear friend and I took advantage. We were both cycling through a confusing juncture and all the certainty we had this day was in each other, until it happened. We ran down the steps of my apartment and looked up at the sky. It was glooming but not angry. I don’t know what made us feel the way we did but it hit us both at the same time. It was no coincidence. It was the universe giving back.
It started with giggles and pathless walking but as the storm progressed so did we. The first drop hit my face. It phased me but it didn’t scare me. There was no question of turning back. We were in a moment and it was a good one. As the rain sped up, so did our feet. We hit a trail at the back of my complex and the downpour was so loud our giggles turned into raging laughter and our walking turned into full out running. We had no destination. We just had feeling. More feeling, more joy, than I had felt in a long, long time. There was no thinking and it was amazing. I wasn’t grieving of the past or worried about tomorrow, I was completely, undoubtedly in the moment. And I wasn’t alone. I looked up from my puddle stomping shoes and sagging wet clothes and saw their face. We weren’t together but we were together. We we’re both experiencing personal euphoria but the fact that we we’re side by side made it all so much more real. We didn’t address the magic but it was understood. We knew what we were feeling.
I don’t know why our legs stopped where they did but this is where my coordinates hit. With dripping hair and rusty smiles, we turned our chins to the sky. We reached for the sinking clouds and we let the rain come. There’s no controlling mother nature, and why bother? She is raw and powerful and she will perform with no permission. Her raindrops hit hard on my cheeks and as they rolled down I realized, “I am alive”. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt. Nothing outside of that moment was relevant. Freedom was in that thunderstorm and freedom was in me.
enter our giveaway to win your own destination necklace here
Run at it until you see nothing but brightness.
Get so lost in it’s warming embrace that you find the child you were when all was well in your little head. Bury away your critical eyes and rekindle your childlike spirit.
Let yourself love without question and trace your way back to the simple mind. You will see the world with an open heart of which without, you may spend infinities desperately searching for something you knew all along.
Youth doesn’t live on the outside. It’s sewn within the soul. It never detaches but is often forgotten.
Let us not forget.
That freedom, that fearlessness, the good in everything, the joy, the lightness. Even when the angry world steals away your innocence, you can win it back if only you can remember. Because it was never truly gone, just blinded from your sight. Open your eyes, deep within yourself is the person you were both born as and destined to be. They aren’t so different after all.
“It is a childlike mind that finds the kingdom.” -Charles Fillmore
“Happy is he who still loves something he loved in the nursery: He has not been broken in two by time; he is not two men, but one, and he has saved not only his soul but his life.”
“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”
“To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature. Most persons do not see the sun. At least they have a very superficial seeing. The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and heart of the child. The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood. ” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
PACSUN X KENDALL & KYLIE EXCLUSIVE COLLECTION
My outfits in this post are part of the exciting new K&K collection at PacSun.
I don’t like to speak to fill space. I like to speak to give comfort, new knowledge, spark a laugh, open a mind. I don’t want my words to be furniture in a room but rather a presence. For furniture allows you to lean on it but a presence can reciprocate and leave you with more than which you came. Furniture let’s you rest from the burdens you bear but communication can change you.
I don’t want to be furniture.
I want to do more than take up space.
I used to be afraid of “growing up”.
I slept nights with my window open in hopes that Peter Pan would steal me away to Neverland.
I feared that life would become boring as I got older, that I would lose sight of my true nature. Now, I am 23 years old and am learning that life doesn’t become boring as we get older, it just changes. Whether that change is good or bad is up to us. I for one, will make dang sure it’s a good change. After all, the words “growing’” and “up” are of positive connotation. They both emphasize progress, improvement and point towards happiness. Growing up does not mean you are nearing an end. It means you are gaining knowledge and experience. My personal religious beliefs claim that eternity can be a reality for us. If you believe in attainable eternity too then you especially should not fear growing up. For growing up is moving forward towards greater and greater things. Growing up means growing closer to forever happiness and that should not be something we fear. It should get us excited and fill us with willpower.
As the years go by, new doors will open and new is never boring. Believe me when I say you won’t lose yourself as you lose days. You will learn more about yourself and the world you live in as the seconds pass. You can have as much fun as you want to. You can do whatever you want to do.
So let’s grow up. Let’s find happiness, the forever kind. It’ll be way better than Neverland.
We are all born into this place at different times and under different circumstances.
Some people are born into money, or none, or a big family, or none, into a religion, or none, into poverty, or fame, or many many other things. The list is never ending. Point is, we cannot judge or envy people for the uncontrollable circumstances of which they are born into, just as we cannot pity our own.
We have no control of what life we are born into but we have complete control of where we end up.
In my younger years and maybe even now on occasion, I’ve fallen into the envious category. I’ve watched others and wished I’d had their belongings, talents or circumstances. Well, I’m done. It’s time wasted. Instead of sitting back and wishing, we should start doing. Despite where we come from or what others have told us we’re capable of, our lives’ can be whatever we want them to be.
The story you were born into doesn’t have to be the story you write. You were handed a pen (a very metaphorical pen) when you were born and it’s your duty to put it to use.
Write your own entry in this world.
Forge your own adventure.