I've always wondered if we end up with the one we want to be with or the one we should be with. Someone once told me that some certain percentage (that's probably inaccurate because most of those things are) of people meet their soulmate while their already married.
I got really disappointed. Because I'd like to think that we end up with the person we want and are supposed to be with but maybe we don't. But, is that what love is? Is love sacrificing your future loves and potentials loves for the one you love at the moment? Can you love more than one person at a time? And if you do how do you know whom to love more? But what even is love if we meet our soulmate when we're already married so maybe we shouldn't be too disappointed. Maybe we should all get married so then we can find our soulmate? Is that how it works? I doubt it.
What even is a soulmate? All the movies and books have romanticized the idea of what a soulmate is and should be. I think soulmate is someone you connect with and it's not your typical connection. This person doesn't have to be your significant other. It could be your friend or brother or boy you meet for one cosmic moment in a coffee shop. Your soulmate is someone who understands you perfectly without even having to try. They do because they are so incredibly similar to yourself. Their strengths are yours, and their insecurities are the same. Your soulmate is your mirror. They come into your life when you need them the most. They finish your sentences and just "get" you. They are there to push you, challenge you, mirror you, and wake you up. They are there for a specific purpose to reveal another layer of who you are.
Maybe people meet their soulmate while their already married because a soulmate doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic relationship. Maybe that atypical connection is so incredible that you can only handle it in a small dosage. Maybe you meet your soulmate while you're already married because you're soulmate isn't who you end up with.
I don't want to marry my soulmate. You would torture each other into some ideal relationship of what you think you should be. But in reality, you probably need something very very different. Don't let yourself get intoxicated by chemistry, eventually it will wear off. You need someone who brings out the best version of you & inspires you. Someone who complements you not completes you. I don't want to marry my soulmate. I want to marry my best friend.
But I do think we discover different parts of ourselves in other people. Maybe that's what everything really is. Maybe I'm figuring out who I am with you and you with me and me with him and so on and so forth. And maybe it's not about being sure or timing or finding your soulmate when you're already married. Maybe it's about meeting people that help you discover the best parts of yourself, makes who you are make sense, makes you the best you. Maybe that's all it is. Maybe life isn't so much about finding your human but finding a bunch of humans that help you find yourself.
I've met some amazing people that have taught me so much about love, life, people, and myself in such a short amount of time. I want to continue trying to figure out who I am, what I'm doing, where I'm going with all those people. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe in our lives right now, we just need someone to encourage us, believe in us, and challenge us. We just need a good friend. One that understands all parts of us good and bad. Maybe the infatuation we feel towards our "soulmates" stem from a place of mutual understanding of one another and our similar ways of thinking. We think that level of understanding someone has to be something more than whatever this is. But dating or breaking up or love and all the things it entails could complicate all of that or even worse, ruin it. Maybe you and him or her are exactly where you should be right now and shouldn't try to fight that.
I hope you meet many soulmates in your lifetime. Even when you're married.
Outfit from: Made For Pearl